As I write this, it's the first day of September and we're 21 days away from the Autumnal Equinox - the beginning of fall. In keeping with my personal tradition, I've begun constructing the crown that I'll wear in celebration of the turning of the season.
It started in 2022, this seasonal tradition of mine, not long after I was diagnosed as autistic and began giving myself permission to do all the "silly" things that give me joy. I change the decor on my altar and in my personal space and, most importantly, I construct a (silly, over-the-top) crown that I'll wear when I take my "seasonal selfies" in my backyard. They've become my four favorite days of the year, these seasonal changes.
Living by the Wheel of the Year
Unlike nature's seasons, the calendar year is rather arbitrary. There's no natural reason why our year should start on January 1st (of course it hasn't always, and it doesn't everywhere in the world).
I'm always conscious of the "real" year (arbitrary as it may be), but it doesn't feel like a proper measurement nor container for time in my life. And in the part of the world where I've always lived, the first of January doesn't feel like a starting point at all - it feels more like a slow, lingering death.
Maybe that's why I don't like the "forced fun" of attempting to start fresh on January 1st each year. It's dark and it's cold and everyone's tired and/or lightly traumatized from the recent forced fun of the holidays.
In the past, when I tried to make "New Year's resolutions," I always ended up feeling disappointed with myself before too long. I don’t set myself up to lose anymore. And frankly, I often don't have the facts needed in December to make goals for the entire coming year. Unexpected things happen, you know? That's kind of the whole deal with life.
Three months, a season, is a natural chunk of time. It feels reasonable to plan 12 or so weeks out - it feels a lot more manageable than 12 whole months, an entire rotation of the wheel of the year.
The seasons governed our ancestors' lives for the vast majority of the time we've been humans. It's only very recently that seasons have become something to notice (or not) as a date on the calendar as we go about our environmentally-controlled lives that are as detached as possible from natural order.
But what's with the seasonal crown?
Of course, I could live by the wheel of the year without going through the whole "making a crown" thing. So why bother?
The answer has to do with the notions of sovereignty and empowerment.
Sovereignty means "supreme power and freedom from external control". I am the ultimate sovereign of my life.
The world has a way of disempowering us, doesn't it? With all the rules and obligations and necessities and musts and must-nots, it's easy to feel like a victim being buffeted along in a direction we don't particularly care for. And then it's all resentment, all the time.
It's important to me that I remind myself periodically that though I'm not in control of the external world and its vicissitudes, I am in control and responsible for my responses to the external world.
Thus I am sovereign, and as such I claim my crown. Every season.
And, finally, there are my silly little "season selfie sessions." I plan them out for days if not weeks, not just the crown, but my seasonal costume as well, and am giddy about the whole thing by the time it happens.
For summer of this year, I made wings of cardboard and chicken wire. The resulting reel and photos were absolutely absurd and I treasure them.
The results are visual reminders of a day when I simply embraced life in its absurdity and celebrated myself. It’s one of the many ways I empower my magical self.
And I'll take that over broken resolutions any day.
Would you like to join me in making a crown for yourself? I would love to see your progress! Tag me on social media, please! TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@leahwelborn32
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